maanantai 20. heinäkuuta 2009

7. Seduction Tactics


“She treats me like no woman ever has before,” say the Western men who have fallen in love with a Thai girl.

But what do they mean? What is this special kind of treatment that drives them crazy, and what we, Western women, don’t seem to be able to provide? When asked, men say that Thai women just have something we don’t have, but that it’s difficult to put it into words. They say Thai women are magical. But can pure magic explain the reason men lust over them? Why do men really fall in love with Thai girls? What’s reality, what’s illusion? And how can men be so charmed, they say they could never again date a Westerner?

This could be partly explained by the image that’s been created of Asian women in the media: the stereotype features an exotic and erotic beauty that respects, appreciates and pleases her man. And often, it seems, men are in love with Thai women way before they even step onto that plane taking them to Thailand. When they land, the stereotype hold true at least as far as looks go, and the men are hooked.

“She is so beautiful,” is the first thing men say about their Thai girlfriends. Many Thai women have delicate features and small frames compared to Westerners, but are still “amazingly curvy, according to the men. They have long, silky, black hair and golden skin. And they look young, always younger than they are.

Western women have a hard time understanding why a Thai woman is nothing less than a goddess to many Western men. Perhaps the answer is simple: differences attract. Western women similarly fall for the dark and exotic beach boys on their holidays in the Bahamas, Bali and Southern Europe perhaps just because it’s something they don’t get at home. But looks only go so far – what keeps men committed to their Thai love even after the first-time excitement is over?


The Modern Business of Love


...Thai girls’ prime asset is their sexuality. Thai girls feel that women should be sexy in order to make a man fall in love and to keep him interested – not far from the typical relationship advice. When you are good in bed and as active as your man, it lessens the chances that he would want to be with someone else. However, Thai girls’ best techniques don’t necessarily have anything to do with how they perform between the sheets, but how they present themselves. Whether Thai girls work in a bar or in an office, they are generally come across as prudish and a little shy. They are conservatively but nicely dressed and rarely show much bare skin.

“She was beautiful and feminine,” said one Western man said about a Thai woman who sold souvenirs in a little travel shop. “She was dressed in a skirt and a blouse, and each time she bent slightly to show something to me from the display table, she instinctually grabbed the front of her blouse to make sure I couldn’t see anything from underneath. It was extremely exciting. I will never forget this girl, unlike the dozens of half-naked go-go girls I’ve seen.”

It seems the image of prudishness and shyness strengthens the male ego. Of course these Thai women aren’t necessarily prudish or shy, but they pretend they are because it makes men feel confident and experienced. Men are fascinated to teach women something new in bed. And they are even more fascinated when they can see that the woman enjoys it.

It is possible Thai girls are more comfortable with their sexuality, as in Thailand sex isn’t sin. Buddha never defined what he meant by his advice to abstain from sexual misconduct. Many have interpreted it to mean adultery, among other things, but its practice in Thailand is as loose as the interpretation itself. Sex is part of everyday life, and it doesn’t include the pressures brought on by Christianity, such as being “good” or “bad.” Perhaps Thai girls can have fun in bed without having to have a guilt trip the next morning. Marriage, too, isn’t a religious, but a civil event. Thai women protect their reputation of innocence before marriage, not because of religious rule, but because of the pride of parents and family. Finances might also play a part: a young woman who has the reputation of being inexperienced can ask for a bigger dowry.

4. The Koh Samui Matchmaker

It is five in the afternoon. The sun is already setting and tourists are beginning to check into their bungalows on the beach of Lamai. It is time to shower off the sand and get ready for the night’s entertainment.

Around the same time, Thai girls begin to arrive to work at the bars on the beach promenade. They fix each other’s hair, apply makeup, play games and giggle. We tour around the cluster of open-air pubs and come across a blond, sympathetic looking man hanging around among the Thai girls. It’s been two years since we lived here – we’ve returned to find out more about the bar life.

“Are you a customer or do you work here?” we ask.

“I am working. I own this bar,” he replies and gestures towards the nearest bar. He has a thick British accent. His name is Tex, and he tells us he has had the bar for two years.

“How did a guy like you end up as a bar owner in Koh Samui?”

“Well, my wife doesn’t actually want me to do this, but at the moment this is the only way I am able to support my family,” Tex says.

He is married to a Thai woman and they have a three-year-old daughter. Tex reveals that he bought the bar for $6000. Now he runs it with his wife.

Like other bar owners, Tex has hired a group of Thai girls to work in his bar. The work is compensated by free accommodation, a daily dinner and a small amount of cash. The girls’ job is to lure customers into the bar and entertain them. If a customer wants to take a girl out for a night, and she wants to in order to earn extra money from the customer outside the bar, he can do so by paying Tex a bar fine of 200 Baht ($5) - The bulk of his income comes from selling drinks, mostly beer...

(Sample, more in the book.......)






1. The Land of Smiles and Beautiful Women

2. Night Lights in Bangkok

3. Bauhaus & the Beach Girls

4. The Koh Samui Matchmaker

5. Tracing the Price of Love

6. The Modern Business of Love

7. Seduction Tactics

8. Finding Marriage Material

9. Mr. Perfect and Other Male Types

10. Beach Boys Bend the Rules

11. Dating Drama

12. Getting Serious

13. Checking the Local Competition

14. Falling for The Most Beautiful Girl

15. Truth in Paradise

16. Epilogue


tiistai 19. toukokuuta 2009

Buy Thailand, Men´s Paradise:

Buy the book here:

About the Authors

Annika Ardin is a Finnish journalist and writer. She is the author of several non-fiction books from biographies to travel guides such as the recently published Enjoy Thailand. Previously, Ms. Ardin was the editor-in-chief of a Finnish literature magazine. Ms. Ardin holds a M.B.A. of Social Sciences. She currently lives in Finland with her husband and has a vacation home in Thailand.

Annabella Ardin is a Finnish journalist, writer and producer. She has written features for Marie Claire, Cosmopolitan, and, just to name a few, appeared on CNBC and Fox News. Ms. Ardin holds a B.A. in Journalism. She’s currently based in New York, The United States.

New book: Thailand, Men´s Paradise?

Jim Kayne, a handsome, fit 30-something car dealer, proposed to his Thai sweetheart, after five days of meeting her on the streets of Pattaya. Now he’s supporting her as well as her extended family, and going through expensive and lengthy visa proceedings to bring his wife home. Meanwhile, he making up sick days at work and getting into debt, so he can go travel to Thailand monthly to see her.

Many men like Kayne fall hard for the women they meet and leave behind everything—jobs, houses and families—to start new lives with partners whose language and culture they don’t understand. Unlike Western women, they say, Thai women give them everything they want and need.

Written by a mother and daughter team of Western journalists who spent a year in Thailand, Men’s Paradise uncovers this sexy mystery. Through hundreds of candid interviews with Western men and couples who have found and lost love, the authors guide you through the thrilling and tragic seduction tactics, dating etiquette, and marriage rules – and the price of love.

Men’s Paradise was first published in Finland in 2004 and caused a media storm because of its controversial subject matter—it gave a voice and sought to understand the men who were hooked on Thai women. Men’s Paradise instantly became a steady seller for Finns traveling to Thailand and Finnish expats. "It’s unbelievable that two women were able to write about our thoughts and experiences better than we ever have,” said a Finnish man living in Thailand who reviewed the book in the chat room According to the experts who reviewed the book, the book lays down the facts and corrects many misunderstandings and myths.

Due to the book’s popularity and requests for an English-language version, Men’s Paradise was translated in 2009. It is available on

20 Thai Bahts (about 40 pence) of the proceeds of every book sold will be donated to the education programs at the Empower Foundation, a non-profit organization that supports bar girls in Thailand by offering them free pre-college classes.